The love for my special needs child & motherhood. What a mother wouldn't do for her child? It's a precious life in your hands the love & caring for your child. A child depends on you and that you will always be there no matter what!! As parents we want the best for our children, and that they can survive when you are not there with them any longer. I often think about this, because as a first-time parent, it's hard for me, very hard. When my child was born he was diagnosed with different types of issues, and genetics proceeded with testing "DiGeorge Syndrome" another name for chromosome 22q deletion. When we first heard about it, the truth I really didn't think much about it. Time will tell.., but deep down I knew something was wrong. So, many things went through my head and asking myself why? My baby? If it wasn't for the support of my boyfriend, I don't think I would have made it, because it breaks my heart to see my child this way. ...
The love for my special needs child & motherhood.
What a mother wouldn't do for her child? It's a precious life in your hands the love & caring for your child. A child depends on you and that you will always be there no matter what!! As parents we want the best for our children, and that they can survive when you are not there with them any longer. I often think about this, because as a first-time parent, it's hard for me, very hard. When my child was born he was diagnosed with different types of issues, and genetics proceeded with testing "DiGeorge Syndrome" another name for chromosome 22q deletion. When we first heard about it, the truth I really didn't think much about it. Time will tell.., but deep down I knew something was wrong. So, many things went through my head and asking myself why? My baby? If it wasn't for the support of my boyfriend, I don't think I would have made it, because it breaks my heart to see my child this way. I wanna do so much for my child and at times is very frustrating...
Many times I blame myself, I say what did I do wrong?, Is God evil?, I hate God, and you don't want to imagine the rest. I know we make mistakes through our lifetime, and we must learn from them, but there are so many parents that don't deserve a child, like they either end up killing them, neglecting them and etc, etc..
I sometimes believe that we good people are being tested in this world, and as well paying for our transgressions. I always say God is forever forgiving, and I am constantly fighting with this inside me, trust me is not easy. I also feel that there are so many people against our relationship and our love. I know we took it about the wrong way, but now we have a child, and as far as I know. I will fight for our love like a warrior "LOVE" is my shield. I will do anything in my power to help our child, but when I see the sweet innocent face of my child my heart melts, and I become vulnerable. Then I have more questions? and more questions? Will this feeling ever go away?? I just think about the fact that when I am not here in this world will my child be in good hands? Or should I just trust God that he will take care of my son? I often tell my child that I am sorry for feeling this way and that I will do the best to be very strong for him, and not let anything bring me down if I made it this far is because I am a very strong person God does not give us tasks that we can't handle. I won't let evil get in the way of my vulnerabilities I'll let God make them stronger.
My Joshua now pictures taken this February 2014. He amazes us every day. He's our inspiration. We call him our Big-Bug lol. God Bless you, my son.
Many times I blame myself, I say what did I do wrong?, Is God evil?, I hate God, and you don't want to imagine the rest. I know we make mistakes through our lifetime, and we must learn from them, but there are so many parents that don't deserve a child, like they either end up killing them, neglecting them and etc, etc..
I sometimes believe that we good people are being tested in this world, and as well paying for our transgressions. I always say God is forever forgiving, and I am constantly fighting with this inside me, trust me is not easy. I also feel that there are so many people against our relationship and our love. I know we took it about the wrong way, but now we have a child, and as far as I know. I will fight for our love like a warrior "LOVE" is my shield. I will do anything in my power to help our child, but when I see the sweet innocent face of my child my heart melts, and I become vulnerable. Then I have more questions? and more questions? Will this feeling ever go away?? I just think about the fact that when I am not here in this world will my child be in good hands? Or should I just trust God that he will take care of my son? I often tell my child that I am sorry for feeling this way and that I will do the best to be very strong for him, and not let anything bring me down if I made it this far is because I am a very strong person God does not give us tasks that we can't handle. I won't let evil get in the way of my vulnerabilities I'll let God make them stronger.
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| The love for my special needs child & motherhood. |
My sweet angel you mean the world to us.
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